Ronny

A friend of mine recently passed away. His name was Ronny, I worked with him last summer laying blacktop. He worked the paver and since I was usually either shoveling asphalt or spreading tact I was always around the paver. I was with him for nearly 10 hours a day during the week. We talked a lot and I probably talked to him more than anyone else that I worked with. I am sad that he is gone, it is weird to think about. He worked for my grandpa who owns the company for many years, since I was little. I knew of him for most of my life, I would hear his name because I was with my grandpa a lot growing up. Always going to see the guys work, to watch the trucks and ride the roller. I felt like I have known him for years even though I only worked with him for a summer.
He died of cancer only weeks after he was diagnosed. It happened so suddenly, it took me completely off guard. The last time that I had seen him was a only a couple of months ago when we had a late Christmas dinner for work. He was fine, just as normal as he was the summer before. At least thats what it seemed like. Ronny was a very kind person, he had a gentle soul. I don’t ever remember him getting angry or losing his temper while we were working, that stood out to me. That is one reason why we talked a lot, cause he was never in a bad mood. And the fact that we talked so much kinda bothers me because we talked about nearly everything, except the most important thing of all, God. I honestly don’t know if Ronny is in heaven and that tears me apart. I’ll never know what his last moments were like but even the fact that I have to wonder kills me inside. All those opportunities that I had to witness and even just casually talk about Christ, I could have made an impact on his life. I could have avoided feeling this way, could have avoided having to wonder where he is now. It’s a horrible feeling. Everyday we talked, and every day went by without talking about God. What could we have possibly been talking about that is more important than that? I am struggling with this right now. Even if I would have casually mentioned God here and there could have sparked an incredible conversation that could have changed his life. I wish thats how it had gone. I know that I can’t live in the past, I have to move on and think about the future. I guess the only thing that I can hope from this situation is that I showed God to Ronny through my actions, even if we didn’t talk about it. I hope that he saw God working through me and maybe if he didn’t talk to me about it he talked to someone. That I can take hope in. I have to live my life as best as I can for the LORD and hope that he shines through me. I pray Ronny saw that and found truth in Jesus before he died, because I hate this feeling of uncertainty. I know now that I have to take these opportunities that God puts in front of me to witness and talk about Christ, even just casually. And to live in a way that honors him and hope that people see that and find Christ themselves. My grandma always talked about how none of the guys that worked for my grandpa knew Christ and when I started working for him she told me to be a light for God. I hope I was, for Ronny’s sake I hope I was. I never really thought about it that much when she said that but know I think about it everyday. Hopefully Ronny saw it and if I get the chance to work for my grandpa again this summer I’m going to make sure that they see Christ in me! I will make sure of it and will talk about God, in hopes of sparking a greater discussion that could lead to someone finding Christ. Even if just one of them finds God it is so completely worth getting up at 6 am every day in the summer and working hard all day. Even if I am exhausted everyday after work, it WILL be worth it all!

Rest In Peace Ronny

Find Yourself Here

Do you ever see those California commercials? The ones promoting the state of California. Well at the end of the commercial they say, “find yourself here.” I was recently in California, LA specifically and although I was there for only a week I did find myself. I realized when I was there how busy it is there, how many people don’t know the true God and are not living for him. It truly made me sad to think of this and to see it. Although while I was there I saw small rays of light shining through the darkness. I did attend a small group while I was there at my uncles house. And I know that their are people there trying to live for Christ and make a difference, trying to be lights in the darkness. But the darkness certainly surrounds and engulfes the light. I had always wanted to live in a place like LA and do something out there, I wanted to be famous. But when I got there and realized this I knew right then that that’s not the path God intended for me.
He wants us to stay busy but to be busy doing things that honor him. I recently watched a NOOMA video entitled “Shells.” In this video Rob Bell talks about how Jesus is always on the move. He is constantly going from place to place. Everywhere he goes he is healing the sick and driving out demons. Yet there comes a time when he moves on to the next city, despite of all the people begging him to stay so he can continue healing and driving out demons. Jesus has the ability to say no to these people and to move on. Imagine how many more people he could have healed. Yet he does this, he is able to say no because he has already said yes to something else. He already said yes to Gods plan for him. You can’t say no until you have already said yes to something else. People are so busy in their lives that it seems like they never say no. They are always saying yes to something else but it is never the right thing. We need to say yes to Gods plan for us and then we will be able to say no. We will be able to say no because we will see the plan that is for us and take that path. As Rob Bell says, “we need to examine the rhythms of our life.” We need to stop saying yes to everything and start saying no, just as Jesus did, so that we can pursue a simple, disciplined focused life where we pursue the few things that God has in store for us. We need to be like Jesus and say no because we have already said YES to God.
When I saw how LA was actually like and how busy and far from God it is I put my own dreams aside and said Yes to God. I said no to that kind of lifestyle that I had thought that I wanted for so long. I came to realize that this isn’t what was meant for me. I mean sure I could still pursue that kind of life but I know that I wouldn’t be honoring God by doing it and what kind of life is that? A life apart from God isn’t a life at all but rather death. Live for the day but make sure that your days, and your life is for God. The only way that you can truly live is when you are living your life with God, in the light. His light. Do not live in the darkness that surrounds all of us but step out into the light. Everybody has a different role in life. I don't exactly know what mine is yet, God is slowly revealing it to me. I am starting to realize what I do want to do with my life and what I don't to do, or rather what I need to do. Now my uncle is in LA. He is an actor out there and that is his role, it may not be mine but it is his. I love what he does out there, he is happy with what he is doing and he has found the role that God intended for him, he and my aunt are trying to be a light the darkness. I will find mine eventually, after all I am only 19.

Prayer

When you pray do not ask God for insignificant things. God already knows what you need before you even pray. Notice how I say need, sometimes what you want is not what you need, even if it seems that way sometimes. When my uncle Jeff was diagnosed with cancer we were all praying that he would be healed. This is what we all wanted. We prayed that he would live. Around two years after he was first diagnosed he passed away. People asked God why? Why didn’t he heal him so that he could live? When I really think about it God did answer our prayers, uncle Jeff may not be alive with us today here on earth but he is alive with Christ in heaven. He answered our prayers with an emphatic YES! You see my uncle Jeff was not close with God for the most part of his life. After he was diagnosed with cancer he got connected with a pastor who really made an impact in my my uncles life. He changed the way he thought and he found God in the last days of his life. If God had healed my uncle like we wanted him to do in our prayers, who knows if my uncle would have found Christ like he did. He could just have gone on living the same life and thought nothing of it. God had something else in mind, he sees the bigger picture. My uncle Jeff found salvation in Christ and that is what truly matters. Him dying wasn’t something that we wanted at the time but it was something that we needed and more importantly something that he needed, and God knew that. That needed to happen for my uncle to find Christ and as a result other people who knew him then became stronger in their own faiths. Not our will be done but Gods.
Jesus took prayer very seriously. Prayer for Jesus was being honest with God, even brutally honest. When Jesus is praying in Gethsemane he is being totally and completely honest with God. ““Abba, Father,” he said, “everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.”” Mark 14:36. Jesus is asking God to make it so he doesn’t have to go through what he is about to go through. He relates his crucifixion and all that is about to happen to him to a cup, a cup that he doesn’t want to drink out of. Although he doesn’t want to do it he also in his prayer acknowledges that God knows what he is doing and that God’s will be done. He knows that God can see the bigger picture. Prayer is constantly asking what God is up to, what his will is. In the creation poem in Genesis God created things with the ability to create more. The world is essentially left unfinished and God invites us to help in the ongoing creation of the world. Pray unceasingly and live your life as a prayer. As Rob Bell said, “May you be honest with God as you become more and more open with your role in the ongoing creation of the world.” Jesus knew his role in the ongoing creation of the world and he accepted it, he accepted Gods will, not his and he lived his life that way. We need to realize our role that God has put in front of us. Sometimes when we pray for something we may not realize our role in the world. Maybe we are the answer to our own prayers. Sometimes that is part of our role. Don’t ask God to feed somebody who is hungry when you have more than enough food.

Kabod

I wrote this when I was on  a plane to Los Angeles.  I just opened my computer, started typing and this is what ended up on my screen...

The Hebrew term for Glory of the Lord is “Kabod.” When God said “Let there be light” in Genesis his Kabod illuminated the world and everything else. The sun, moon, and stars were not created until the fourth day. His Kabod lit the world and His spirit hovered over the waters. 

Its truly amazing when you just sit still for a while and feel God. Even on this plane right now I see him everywhere I look and feel him with every movement that I make. 35,000 feet above the surface of the earth and God is here. I look down as we fly past city after city and see all of the lights shining in the darkness of the night. God is there to. In Genesis when it says that Gods spirit hovered above the waters I can completely picture that and I feel as though I am seeing that when I look out of the plane and see clouds with lights breaking through from the ground. To me it feels as though those clouds are the spirit of the LORD. Simply breathtaking. I look around the cabin inside the plane at all of the people, some sleeping, some talking, some watching a movie or listening to music and I think how awesome it is that we are able to travel like this. Whether these people realize it or not God gave us the minds to develop the airplane and the people who can fly it. Its so beautiful when you think about it. As Rob Bell said, God created us and gave us the ability to create in this ongoing process of creation. Not only did he give us the ability to have kids and experience that joy but he gave us minds to create as well. 
When you start to think about it God is in everything we say, everything we do, and even who we are, whether your a believer or not. You are made in the image of the God of the Universe, and its not like someone else made you in his image, he did himself. Not only that but he wants to have a relationship with us. Everybody wonders what the meaning of life is and to be honest with you, who cares? If we choose to we get to have a relationship and be friends with the God of the universe, the one who created it all. That is the meaning of life, God created us so that we could share in his Glory and he wanted to share that with us. He loves us more than anything and nothing makes him happier than if we were to share with him in his Kabod. That my friends and fellow christians is the meaning of life itself. Growing up I always heard my mom and grandma say to me, “God is watching you”, to get me to be good but now I realize that not only was he watching me he was right there with me. In all my moments of sin and of struggle he was with me. Right by my side. Take pride in anything you do and enjoy every minute cause your doing it with God.

Why Not

Well I finally decided to get one of these.  I figured it would be a good way for me to communicate some things that I have been thinking with other people. So here we go...